The Heartbreak Bowl
By Eloise Owens | January 11, 2010
When your heart is set on winning and you lose…what do you do?
As I stood in my bleacher row, shoulder to shoulder with the other lucky UT fans crammed into the Rose Bowl, some thoughts emerged as the afternoon rolled into evening. They include the power of will, close quarters, and getting down on one knee. Let’s jump in.
1. The power of a shared goal turns strangers into fellow warriors.
I had never met the two students to my left. We probably would never run in the same circles outside the stadium but for four hours on a sunny afternoon in Pasadena we were bonded. When the game began, we celebrated the good – an interception, a quarterback sack, and a recovered punt. And… within minutes, our hearts sank while the air left our lungs with a collective gasp as Colt McCoy stumbled to the sidelines holding his arm. The worst possible scenario short of the stadium crumbling in because of another earthquake (there were three that week in CA), had unfolded right before our eyes. Everyone around us (except the few Bama fans down the way) held on in disbelief. Some of the more optimistic fans hoped against hope that it was a stinger. ”He’ll be back!”, they cried. But as Gilbert’s BCS debut began to unravel, we all became “one” in the pain for the warriors on the field. The two guys in front of us grumbled the loudest and tried to place blame quickly. But just like the cranky uncle around the holiday table, we all got over the shock and kept positive, trying to override the cranky guys (every family has them, right?) with hope.
2. The power of the “will to win” unites.
You’re 18 years old and thrown to the lions in a moments notice. He didn’t throw up. (I would have.) He got to work learning about a fast defense hungry to take him out too. Then one woman with an exceptionally “shrill” voice began to chant…”Gilbert, Gilbert, Gilbert!” All the burnt orange fans chimed in as this lonely 18 year old college football baby began to come to life. You could feel the “will” in the air as all of us began to believe in the unthinkable…a true freshman could bring this team back up the hill. By this time there were no strangers around us. We were holding on to each other as each play, each touchdown increased the “will.”
In this moment, “will” was the glue that bonded all of us. Maybe we need more of this stuff in our corporate lives, our family lives. It’s powerful stuff.
3. You can’t climb a mountain on your own.
It’s one thing to ask for heavenly help when you feel overwhelmed. When Gilbert took a knee in the end zone at the beginning of the second half, who could blame him. We wouldn’t of been surprised if while praying on his knee he was looking for the nearest exit. But then another warrior team mate saw him while warming up and ran over to him and knelt over him and laid his hand on him to pray over him. It was for me the highlight of the game. Gilbert was not going to climb alone. His teammates made sure of it.
4. When dreams die, what do you have left?
Colt McCoy is a warrior. He knows from where his strength comes and who ultimately gets the credit when things go right. When his father was with him at half time trying to “will” his shoulder back to normal, he and coach Mack Brown had to prepare Colt for the death of his dream. But “will” is a tough thing. It is hard to kill. He would take on the role of a cheerleader and refuse his street clothes. The football pads would stay on. And from the sidelines he was stationed to cheer while watching the dream fade away. On every change of possession you could see him with Gilbert. In the huddles, Colt was there to make sure the “will” to win was alive.
For some people, when they are knocked out of their dreams, the meaning of life is diminished. The disappointment turns to bitterness and cynicism. Could anyone blame Colt if he displayed either of these unsavory characteristics? The guys only human, right?
But he shows us two things about life – faith matters and friends are worth fighting for. It wasn’t about Colt anymore – it was about others. If there is one thing to get focused on this year, how about this…
Make the time to build your relationships, spiritually and physically. Time with God matters. How you give to others is how your God relationship is manifested. He is in the stands chanting for you…pulling for you…”willing” for you to love others and get into other people’s huddles and cheer for them. Because when you do that for others, you do it for Him.
Next up..reflections from my retreat coming soon…to a blog near you.
What a game – so many blessings in the loss. I wouldn’t trade it for anything..ok..maybe for a healthy Colt. But hey, hat’s off to ‘Bama. Till next time we play, see you in the stands. Colt was the last Longhorn to leave the field. His coaches huddled around his locker to hug him and leave him with these words…”Your best football days are ahead!” Perfect words for a warrior whose “WILL” would not quit.
El
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My Christmas Resolutions
By Eloise Owens | December 14, 2009
The heck with New Year’s…let’s start some new traditions. How about some Christmas Resolutions. For my Jewish friends, sorry but us Christmas people have gotta start doing things differently. Let’s start with the gifts…
1. It’s time to realize that your 16 year old son will not be wowed by most everything you buy that doesn’t involve a remote and shooting things. My resolution – give them underwear! Lots of them. Then just smile when he looks at you like you’re insane. Start the tradition and lower their expectations!
2. Wives, quit trying to prepare the house as if Martha Stewart has you on web cam and is evaluating you! Keep your decorating real. Sure, light it up, make it smell like a pine forest, and be sure that the cat can’t see their reflection in any tree bulbs! (That comes from years of experience with crazy cats that think they see a predator in the reflection and pounce headfirst into the tree. Crash!!!! ) Not good.
3. Husbands, notice that your wife has grown weary of the kitchen – cooking, scrubbing, icing, and cleaning up – again. Give her the gift that keeps on giving – offer to take over the kitchen duties for a day – a whole day. Why not December 25th? Make it an annual tradition – Dad is master of the kitchen all day! I promise your wife will pay you back in wonderful, wonderful ways.
4. Wives, pay your husband back in wonderful, wonderful, ways.
5. This one is a killer but try it and see how much more fun it is opening up your presents. Start from youngest to oldest and open up the presents by age. Little Johnny goes first. Then older sister Sarah goes next. But the trick is that Little Johnny must now put down his gift and pay attention to what his sister Sarah gets. It’s painful but helps develop character – Christmas character.
Here’s my kids years ago developing Christmas character.
6. If you have children under the age of ten, hmmm…ok maybe 20, make sure that all the presents come out even. Because if little Johnny gets an extra one and sister Sarah doesn’t, then sister will have a lowered sense of self esteem and will remind you for the next ten years that she was robbed! Even if you have to put an extra pair of underwear in the present mix to even it out – do it.
7. Don’t let your family come in from out of town and leave them with nothing to do. The family chit chat lasts for about an hour – now what are you going to do? This is how politics come into the conversations and fist fights start – boredom. Keep the family occupied with activities – games like Apples to Apples (take out the political questions), pictionary (take out the Obama’s ears drawings) or maybe a few hours of Crazy 8’s to break up the day. Note: Stay away from games where you have to lie like, “I Doubt It.” You don’t want to resurrect any old family wounds and start WW III.
I can’t wait for the holidays. How about you?
Happy Holiday Survival!
Love,
Elf Eloise
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Even the waves rest, Eloise Owens…
By Eloise Owens | December 13, 2009
For all my sales peeps who have shared time with me in the Decembers of years gone by…You know what’s a comin’…the lecture…the December nudge. For those who I have not had the pleasure yet to meet but are solely connected through these online words…consider this your first time to get “the nudge.” So, here we go.
As professionals we all make the same human mistake of thinking that we must not slow down. We must keep driving…pushing…to make our way up that ladder. After all – our bonuses, our promotions, maybe our very employment rides on my consistent effort.
Some twenty years ago I thought the same thing – as I was lying in an emergency room bed with doctors buzzing around me wondering what could my symptoms mean. They may have been stumped but not me. I knew. My body was done. I had spent four years pushing to get a sales team up and running — to exceed the expectations of my bosses in the big offices. The building of momentum requires large sums of energy. But I loved it. I love to sell. You probably do too.
But your human body is not designed to run full out without some time to recover and renew. Funny thing though, I kept waiting for my manager to call me in and give me some time to renew. Yeah, fat chance that will happen. Hell, all they will do is give you more to do. Right? So, who’s responsibility is it to go underground–rest–and renew? (Hence…the lecture is coming)
There is no one that can mandate your sabbatical. It must come from you. Sometimes the busy weekend is just not enough with all the family adventures that are begging for you. So, if you want to stir a new kind of momentum in 2010, here is what I have been doing for at least the past 10 years and would like to share it with you. Plan your MOMENTUM GETWAY.
1. Invest in rest and get a hotel for a couple of days, maybe in between Christmas and New Years. Search for great deals on Hotwire and see what you can do to not break the bank but spend some of that hard earned money on your rest.
2. Ditch the Blackberry. Tell your family what hotel you are staying at and that the hotel number is only to be used if there is a “dripping blood” emergency. Enjoy the freedom from contact.
3. Sleep in and then eat a good breakfast. I recommend room service.
4. Use your day to reflect on the year. What are you the most proud of? Who on your team at work do you most enjoy working with? Why? What is hard for you at work? How is my relationship with my boss? Could it be better?
5. Now comes the fun part. Start dreaming and planning. Asking yourself questions of what else is possible in 2010? Are there goals in your life that bore you? Can you afford to stay bored? Are you giving your best at work? Does it still stir you to get up every morning and seek out higher results at work? If not, take a new look at what you want this coming year. Is it time to rework your goals?
6. Now comes the hard part. Go walk and listen. Don’t talk to strangers on the walking path or next to you on the treadmill at the hotel. Don’t speak. Let your dreaming and planning simmer a bit in your brain. Take notes of the thoughts you have in your head.
Day 2: Repeat step 3.
7. Day two is designed to start planning and prioritizing your goals and dreams. What ideas can you start working on immediately? What ideas need more time to refine or research? Set up a quarterly schedule to check out your progress on all the goals in your dream planning session.
8. In the afternoon of the second day, I want your focus to shift off of you. Now I want you to start asking yourself another set of questions: ”Others” questions.
At work, who needs me to do my best work? Am I giving them all that they need? (I’ve seen a lot of salespeople treat their dog at home better than they treat a team member.) Do my top ten customers know how much I value them? What can I do quarterly to demonstrate my appreciation? When is the last time I thanked my manager for all that they do and handle for us? (And believe me, they handle an incredible amount.)
At home, who needs me to do my best work? Don’t give your best self at work and leave your family starving for you. The kids, the spouse, the house….all of it. It’s alot. Why not schedule time in your month and surprise your kids with a drive? Or play a card game that you learned? And if you really want to surprise your spouse, send them a card through the mail asking them out on a date with you – and only you. Schedule those appointments now.
Lastly, for those seeking a spiritual walk, ask God to open the floodgates around you in 2010 and see others who need help. Are you the solution that God needs to serve someone crossing your path? Will you be the solution? Get ready. Why not make serving a deliberate part of your 2010? That will truly be your best work.
Your retreat is over for this year. These two days have given you some perspective – some air to breathe again, dream and plan. My retreat is scheduled for Dec 29th.
When is yours?
Blessings my friends,
Eloise
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Don’t You Wish
By Eloise Owens | December 9, 2009
I’m still hoarse from celebrating the Horn’s football victory over the Cornhuskers last Saturday night. For you non-interested football fans, Colt McCoy, the Horn’s quarterback lost track of the time on the clock and thought he had more time to throw the ball out of bounds to set up the field goal. He didn’t. In fact, it was so close that the clock actually showed that the time had expired. Our hearts stopped. A perfect year comes to an end like this?
I glanced over to the Nebraska student fans with painted red faces and corncobs on their heads (surely a sign of true devotion to their team) who were still hugging and jumping for joy that they had pulled out the huuuuuge upset! But not so fast my corncob friends… 
Sitting in shock my husband heard in his ear from the radio play that the refs decided that there was in fact one second left when the ball hit out of bounds. Oh those cheering cornhuskers dropped to their knees as Texas kicked the ball through the uprights to win the game!!!
Wouldn’t it be great if we could put time back on the clock? If in our lives we were given another shot at victory to avoid a painful defeat? Would you go back and do things differently to avoid your painful divorce? Say NO to one more drink before you got in that car to drive home that ended up taking a life? Held your tongue with hurtful words that splintered an important relationship you have yet to mend?
How can we put time back on the clock? This holiday, take the time to seek out those you may have disconnected from. Give it another chance…go kick it through the uprights and make it right. You’ve got one more second…use it wisely!
Hook’Em Horns!
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Stop looking for Solutions…
By Eloise Owens | November 9, 2009
I can’t help the way my brain works. ( At least that’s what I’m sticking with.) But when I sit in the church pew hearing a very convicting message, feeling like it was preached just for me, my mind can’t help but switch to my business mind. This week’s message via the church pew is…Don’t look for solutions –Be the Solution! Is it possible that God has quipped me to actually be somebody else’s solution? Toby, our minister, was beamed remotely from Mumbai, India to implore us to consider this…God is answering people’s prayers through us. We are their solution.
While those words are thought provoking, Toby then continued by showing us an example. He name is Okbar. Toby called him up to the stage. He stood tall just reaching Toby’s waist. He was a delightful boy who two years earlier was found alongside of the road by another man, Francis. Okbar had lost both parents and was sick and starving. Through some maneuvering, of which I know God was at work, Francis happened to find Okbar and took him in. Francis was open to being a solution! There stood Okbar, beaming. Toby cried. So did we.
Brain switch. Haven’t we always learned that if we are to be in this selling profession then we must help our clients find solutions? The products and services that we sell can solve some pretty big issues. But those aren’t the real solutions – you are. How you connect with people –How truthful you are in meeting their expectations–How you present yourself–How well you love people…All of these elements move you center stage into the position of credibility and trust. You are the solution–not your powerpoint presentation!
Go find the Okbars– those customers that need you.
This week – Stop looking for solutions –Be the solution!
El
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“Some Call It Insanity
By Eloise Owens | November 3, 2009
but its more like a calling. To breathe and taste the salty air. The rush of charging down the face of a magnificent wave. We visit the land but we LIVE on the water.”
This quote is from the Mavericks Surfer website. The official wait begins for the monster waves to appear at Half Moon Bay in California. Everyone is on high alert. With one phone call the invited surfers will jump on planes with a 24 hour notice and be ready for the monster ride of their life.
Surfers are at the mercy of Mother Nature. If she decides to produce the momentum that runs through water and creates 60 foot waves then they will be ready. For now they just wait and watch.
How prepared are you? With 24 hours notice would you be ready to step up and perform perfectly? Are they things you could be doing now to step up your game? The prospect that keeps giving you the classic, “We aren’t interested right now,” is moving closer to making a decision. That wave will eventually hit. Are you in position to catch that wave?
I stood on the shores of Half Moon Bay and watched these monster waves appear. It is jaw dropping to see the surfers paddle out with full abandon. The fear is real but not alarming. Why? Because they are prepared in every way. Their tools are in perfect form and so are they.
Your sales waves are approaching. Are you positioned and in perfect form?
Surf’s Up,
Eloise
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The 3 “I Told You So’s” of Selling
By Eloise Owens | November 2, 2009
We raised our glasses in toasts of love and support to my son and his new wife over the weekend. They asked if anyone else wanted to toast the new couple. I jumped from my chair…I never pass up the opportunity if it involves a microphone. After all, I practiced my toast in the shower for weeks. Here is the cliff notes version.
“My son came to me years ago in bewilderment. He asked me, “Mom, how will I know when she is THE one?” I smiled and gave him the best parenting advice I could muster. “Well son, you’ll just know.” He didn’t seem very satisfied with that answer. I don’t blame him. And now today as we share in this wedding celebration, I am so eager to share with my son the four most important words that every parent LOVES to say to their kids…I TOLD YOU SO! And to Sandy my new daughter…Thank you for being his I TOLD YOU SO!”
I love those words. So today I thought I would continue the love fest and share with you sales folks three of my best Sales I Told You So’s. Here goes.
1. If your week is not planned, you will waste time and be drawn into low value activities thinking you have accomplished alot. The truth is busy does not equal results. Doing the right things to generate sales results is where its at! So, staying busy can make you look productive but at the end of the month when actual numbers come in and your name isn’t in the top ten of producers….well…I told you so!
2. Looking and acting professional sucks! Clients and prospects today are looking for something that intrigues them and catches their curiosity. Afraid of what they might think? Still waiting for them to call you back from your professional voicemail? Do you believe they will dial that 800 number from your glossy, professional brochure to hire you? Wait..is that the phone ringing? NO! So keep up the professional gig while the crazy, creative weirdos are out there captivating your prospects and getting your business. Then remember, I told you so.
3. On your next sales call try this – go with the flow. Don’t be too assertive. Let them pull you into an early price conversation, let them dictate terms, and for heavens sake keep the conversation going on and on because eventually you will build rapport with them and they will like you. And then when you’re tired of adding fans to your Facebook page instead of closing sales, decide to let go of your old dog and pony show, no matter how good you once were, and start rebuilding a solid sales presentation with structure that reassures each prospect that you have the credibility to fulfill their product or service. When your closing ratio begins to rise … Remember…I told you so.
So, here’s a toast to your sales success this week! Pass this on.
Cheers,
Eloise
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And then one day…he grew up.
By Eloise Owens | October 30, 2009
I can’t sleep. I remember hearing him cry for the first time after 26 hours of labor. (He had a huge head, ok!) His red hair glistened and only intensified in the days to come. My son. In a family of all girls, my chest filled with pride. I had given birth to a son.
In the years that followed he cultivated his inner artist. I thought he was just trying to be different to drive me crazy. I was wrong. He was just different — still is. Those differences caused us some grief and disconnects at times, probably not unlike any other family going through growing pains.
At eleven years old he wanted to paint his room red. I said no. We fought about it for days. ”It was just too impractical,” I bellowed. He snapped back, “But it’s my room and I want it red!” Now, many years later, it all seems so silly. (I do think he is still holding a grudge, however:)
When it came time to drop him off at college, our family of four would never be the same again. He made his way working crazy jobs and living in some of the most interesting places with floors that weren’t level and air conditioners that didn’t always work. But he made his way. And along the way…this redhead just grew up.
When I went through divorce, he went through it with me. When I had a health issue that required surgery, he was there when I awoke. When I got remarried years later, he and his sister walked me down the aisle. And tomorrow, I will walk him down the aisle to marry Sandy, the woman of his dreams.
The memories of my son growing up keep flooding through my mind bringing tears and laughter all at once. What a blessing he has been to my life. I can’t sleep.
I think I’ll go wrap his wedding present…a gallon of beautiful red paint.
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When World’s Collide
By Eloise Owens | October 26, 2009
OK, Ill admit it. When I first gazed out at the waves pounding into the shore on Solona Beach, I freaked out. The thought of venturing out to catch some waves with a team of surfers I had never met before was daunting to say the least. I wasn’t Gidget – I didn’t look like Gidget. But when life presents you with growing opportunities you don’t ignore them (although I wanted to). The wisdom in waves became my classroom.
All my life I’ve always been the leader. I’m not exactly sure why. I didn’t really like spinach and wasn’t made of kriptonite. I just had this ability to lead. I moved away from home at 17 to attend college, I married young and knew that I would do fine. My dad was a marine so I understood discipline, even though I hated it. But one thing I always struggled with was being a student. I had a hard time learning lessons in life because I thought I already knew stuff. I know I drove my parents and my teachers crazy.
So, as the sun was shining on a beautiful day just north of San Diego at Solano Beach, my teacher instincts were put to the test. And here was the test in a nutshell —become a student. The problem – I had to trust the teachers. They weren’t like any I had had
Two Surfers and the Student
The teachers at work - showing friends how to surf in Dallas!
before. They weren’t very disciplined and they certainly weren’t prompt (two things I value). I own three wristwatches. They own zero. They just marched to a different beat and everyday relaxed that all in the universe would work out. They drove me nuts! But these two teachers had crossed my path and were destined to teach this reluctant student to surf.
Years later as I was putting the finishing touches on my book of this whole crazy adventure, the idea popped into my brain – fly in these crazy surfers and introduce them to my friends, family, and clients who had come in to celebrate the book launch.
What a night it was. The two dudes showed up (on time:) and were overwhelmed by the love of friends and family in the room that they had never met. It was my turn to reciprocate.
How many growing opportunities are we missing because we can’t quite muster up the courage to become a student? Are we just moving through life as the all knowing stud? What have we yet to learn?
Make it a great week,
Love,
your humble student
Gidget Owens
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I can’t make this stuff up
By Eloise Owens | October 22, 2009
While I’m patiently waiting for my pistachio chicken salad to arrive at one of my favorite restaurants, I am quietly enjoying the conversation with my daughter in law when out of the corner of my eye I notice a man dressed like a plumber (minus the crack showing) setting up a ladder in the eating section to my left. The ladder clanked aganist the side of one of the vacant booths as he steadied it open. He then placed a large garbage bucket next to the tall,metal ladder. Now, I’m extremely curious what in the world is this guy going to do with a ladder in our eating section at the peak of the lunch hour rush?
Without it even registering to this guy that we were all going to be actually eating food, he climbs up this ladder with all of us in amazement. And, I might add, that amazement turned to shock! He got to the top step and reached up to the ceiling and began to untighten something with his crescent wrench. Clank…Clank… and then …all hell broke loose. It seems he was twisting off the plug to a valve that rested just below the ceiling that led to the attic. And what then sounded like an avalanche of mud began to pour out of this spout into a garbage can he had strategically placed below.
Our waiter trying to ignore this sound of and smell of sludge spewing came over to ask if we wanted more tea. I turned to him and asked, ”What the heck is that guy doing?” He looked at me and answered, “Oh, we are just draining the sludge out of the attic that collected from a leak in the roof!” Oh…well if that’s all! Whaaaaaat the heck?
I realize it’s been awhile since my food serving days in college but may I offer just a little tip? Draining sludge out of an attic from a roof leak at the height of the lunch hour rush might even be worse than blowing your runny nose into a cloth napkin. Stop and think! What will your customers think and feel by the actions of your company?
This favorite restaurant has now become my un-favorite restaurant. But at least they are sludge free! Yikes!
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