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How thin are you?
By Eloise Owens | January 18, 2010
This post is not meant to be a weight loss inspirational message. Go to Weight Watchers if you are looking for that kind of help. Rather, my question is to get you to stop and think about how you give of yourself to others. So, how thin are you being spread amongst your circle of friends? If there is one area that can get and keep us off track of our life’s goals and ambitions, it is trying to be “there” for everyone who needs us. It’s a worthy pursuit.
But….be careful. You can be tricked. It feels good to be able to help others and be at their beck and call. But eventually, the jig is up. You start getting pulled in a million directions – everyone else’s directions until one day your tank is way beyond empty.
Is it time for us to narrow our focus a bit and concentrate on a few friends instead of the legion? It’s easy to type but a bit harder to live. Why? Because of the evilness of guilt. How could we possible say no to Judy? To Philip? I have been there for them through menopause and prostrate cancer!
This scenario could of been my friend Gary’s. He woke up one day and said I can’t keep trying to save the whole world – I need to focus my efforts in the lives of six. He called this, conveniently, his Target Six. It is these six close friends that he has committed to staying in close contact with and makes a point to never go three or four days without checking in.
For the others who didn’t make it in, he has allowed himself to feel free to stand back and see them on a more infrequent basis. He will tell you it was hard at first. The folks in his outer circle of six definately felt the difference, but all understood and respected his decision.
The coolest part is the relationships that have developed through the Target Six . It’s funny but now the Target Six stay in touch with each other and know that Gary will be there through cancer, divorce, and raising crazy teenagers. (are there any other kind?)
This year, I am going to take Gary’s advice and focus. I ask for you to consider his story as one you might embrace. Whatever number you decide, those people will feel a stronger bond with you and you will feel that in your target circle, there is more of you to give.
Thanks Gary, from one of your Target Six. I am honored.
Eloise
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