Where are the customer service gods when you need them?
By Eloise Owens | March 5, 2010
“What is your return policy if we are not happy with the fabric quality of these pants? The pants I bought here shrunk in length over an inch.” The two service clerks lucky to be wandering around on the sales floor looked at each other as if to say, “Do you wanna take this one?” The shorter of the two, Debbie blurted out a question. “Did you wash them and put them in the dryer?” I pondered the question and returned with my own question. ”Was I not supposed to do that? Did I buy dry clean only pants?” She said no but that she never dries her pants in the dryer. Hmmm…so because I do I’m just screwed?
Now out of the corner of my eye the other sales person is racing over to the pants section to find the “care label” to win this battle. Gee, I didn’t even know we were fighting. She yells out across the store that the label says I am to dry them on low. So now Debbie glanced back at me trying to find some more ammunition to win this war that I didn’t even know we were fighting.
After a moment, the light bulb went off in her head and she asked. “Do you have your receipt?” ”No. I doubt it but these pants were ordered from your store because you didn’t have my size. Any chance you would have it in your computer?”, I asked. And now Debbie in all her glory stood taller, and with a gleam of joy emerging from her eyes proudly announces…”Yes, it is in our computer BUT the only way to pull it up is to know what day I bought it, the exact time I bought it, who the sales clerk was, and which cash register it was – the left or the right one.”
OK. Now I want to fight!! But instead I will wear my too short pants and remember with a gleam in my eye that Debbie and her assistant work at the mall making $7.35 an hour. Good bye!
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In the shadows
By Eloise Owens | February 12, 2010
I can hear it now…the Olympic theme song booming in my head. It’s that time again for Olympic dreams to start coming to life, night after night as we cheer for athletes that we have never even heard of before. Most have been training for a big part of their lives.
They step up to that medal stand with that shiny gold medal being draped around their necks just as their alarm clocks start buzzing –only to discover it was just a dream. And when all of us are still snuggled in our warm beds, these Olympic warriors go to work – again at 4 am.
Can dreams become reality? I mean really, can they?
For every skier who hurtles down the slopes, for every hockey player who suits up, and for every ice skater who takes the ice in Vancouver, there is someone standing in the shadows who knows the answer.
The Olympics is a world stage to show what you are made of. It is time to push yourself past fear, past doubt, and past pain. It’s where ruthless determination puts you in the category of….well… just average.
Why? Because every athlete who shows up is determined. Everyone in the opening ceremonies has a will to win. Everybody is focused on doing whatever it takes.
So what will be the difference between the skiers, the hockey players, and the skaters who watch the medal ceremony from afar with red-rimmed eyes and those elite few who feel the weight of the medal around their necks?
The answer is lurking out of view, off to the side, standing in the shadows.
Here’s a safe bet –some of them wanted to quit at some point. I betcha some of them had no idea what they were getting into and never understood what true commitment really meant. They can talk a great “dream speech” but for some of them, there came a moment where quitting was a wonderful and sane choice.
But then, something stepped out from the shadows…that magic elixir to regain their insanity once again to this Olympic madness.
The path to dreams is never a straight one. Take the unfolding story of Lindsey Vonn, the gorgeous blond, the “Michael Phelps” hopeful of these Olympic games. She may have to live the agony of defeat before she ever hits the slopes (imagine skiing with razor blade pain shooting through your shins!). Her demeanor spoke volumes at a news conference yesterday. Will she be able to put on her ski boot and race to fulfill her life goal? Yesterday, she couldn’t bear to answer the question. She could not even bear to get her leg x-rayed for fear that it might be broken. She didn’t want to know. She tried to sound determined. Who could blame her?
But off in the distance, was her chance. Because in the shadows, there lurking out of the limelight was….her COACH.
The person who has belief when you don’t. The coach! The person who can see your weaknesses when you won’t. The coach! The person who dreams of your Olympic medal ceremony every night and wakes up early with you, ready to take the next step that you cannot even see. It’s the coach!
This year, while watching the winter events, keep a close eye in the shadows for the person who takes every ski jump with you as if they are on the slope. Or the coach who holds their hands to their heart when you fall on your triple axle in the short program and feel all is lost. Because there in the shadows is the person who will fight off your fear and dispel doubt that your kick ass long program will give you another chance to win!
So, lets give a shout out to all the coaches of these Olympic games who turn great athletes into elite ones. We will be looking for you…in the shadows, beaming with pride.
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Powerful Intent
By Eloise Owens | January 31, 2010
So far I’ve avoided any political thoughts on my website due to electricity in the air –no matter which side of the political mirror you look into. But this last week I felt extremely nudged to make an observation from the looking glass.
To all my African American friends who heard the comments, “For an hour, I forgot he was black!” I was stunned, were you? But then a few days later as the buzz started to build over Chris Matthews comments made the night of the State of the Union address, this funny predicament started to occur. Because he is clearly a Liberal Democrat cheerleader, people on that side of the aisle didn’t blast him for those comments. Instead, they gave Chris this huge dose of grace saying “he didn’t mean anything by it,” or “he didn’t intend for that to be a negative comment.”
Even one of my African American democratic buddies on Facebook said, “Please friends, don’t ever forget that I am black.” But no one shouted for his resignation. No one shouted for him to retract the statement. Instead, people immediately gave him grace.
I am not a democrat. But that’s not the point. As a life observer I am interested in the power of judging one’s intent. Seems to me that we are much more able to do it when we align with the person in question. That alignment allows us to give them the benefit of the doubt. That alignment frees us to widen the latitude of misspeaking because there are so many other reasons to love them.
But what happens to that grace when, heaven forbid, we disagree and are out of alignment with the person? Does that give us the right to harshly condemn and go tone deaf to the apologies of the offending party? Where did the grace go? If it’s true we all screw up, why can’t grace be extended to people you don’t align with? The bible so beautifully teaches (and I’m paraphrasing here) ..so what if you love the people that love you back. The real strength is in loving the ones who don’t love you. Now that’s real love!
Take a look around. People say dumb stuff all the time. Look at Ministers. We hear them speaking for God in absurd ways, deciding to enlighten us all as to why God allows bad things to happen. We heard it as recently as the earthquake in Haiti. And, as sure as shooting, (that’s just a term), some jumped all over that minister while others, because of their alignment were in quiet agreement. The day that that statement was heard through the press a favorite blogger of mine wrote a beautiful piece admonishing others to show him compassion instead of criticism – empathy instead of hate – even when we disagreed passionately with his statements, let alone the timing.
In today’s Sunday paper an article just made my pulse quicken. It is about a minister (another one) who keeps preaching for people to give to his ministry because he will be giving back to them a promise of billions. People keep giving and he keeps promising. Here again, the alignment to this minister is allowing the grace to flow when his promises are starting to ring hollow. Many people in his congregation however are starting to smell a rat. And so is the Attorney General’s office. But people, through their alignment, will give him the benefit of the doubt for another year and continue to open their purses. I add this story to lend some balance to this post. Sometimes, our alignment can cloud our judgement and the free pass we give to some needs to be reexamined. This alignment business is tricky.
This grace stuff is hard- in politics or religion. It pushes a person to move about the noise and always stay hyper aware when the temptations to be more competitive than kind are seducing and enticing you. Politics today is a breeding ground for all things judgemental. Just because we choose to give grace to the humans around us doesn’t mean that we can’t have our opinions on where the direction of the country should be headed. I have many friends and relatives that are on both sides of the looking glass. And even through our frustrations on both sides, we are challenged to rise above the noise. It’s not always easy. Especially when I know I am Absolutely right. (ahem..just kidding.)
I am challenged to give grace. I am nudged to encourage you to do the same.
Till the next time crazy words come out of another human’s mouth,
Be graceful,
Eloise
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You Exhibitionist, You!
By Eloise Owens | January 29, 2010
Words and meanings, oh we could write a book on the funny mistakes that we make when our own words trip us up and land us on America’s funniest audios. Yesterday I spoke to a group of sales people – actually it was the trade show exhibitors for RCMA. As I arrived early I got a bit lost and ended up finally asking a lone woman standing in the never ending hallway, “Where might I find the registration table?” She motioned to her left and pointed to a huge white banner and replied, “Yes, the registration table is just past the Exhibitionist’s Hall!” She walked away never knowing that she gave me a great opening for my presentation for the Exhibitors!!!
So, let me say welcome to all my new readers, the “Exhibitionists” from RCMA. I had a blast with all of you in my session. Your comments and “surfer spirit” allowed some great energy to flow and weird ideas to percolate.
Stay tuned and keep RCMA weird!
From Surfer GIrl
Eloise
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Weird O
By Eloise Owens | January 22, 2010
Ahhh…another find for those of you who want to lead the crowd in the weirdness category. What if you changed your boring paper business cards to plastic? I stumbled on this company that prints your business cards on different thicknesses of plastic. Talk about memorable?
You can design them with a clear background or a white backing which they recommend to make your message pop. Check them out the next time the urge to purge your old look overtakes you and you feel the need to express your inner weirdness! I knew I loved you.
Go to www.PlasticPrinters.com
Eloise
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How thin are you?
By Eloise Owens | January 18, 2010
This post is not meant to be a weight loss inspirational message. Go to Weight Watchers if you are looking for that kind of help. Rather, my question is to get you to stop and think about how you give of yourself to others. So, how thin are you being spread amongst your circle of friends? If there is one area that can get and keep us off track of our life’s goals and ambitions, it is trying to be “there” for everyone who needs us. It’s a worthy pursuit.
But….be careful. You can be tricked. It feels good to be able to help others and be at their beck and call. But eventually, the jig is up. You start getting pulled in a million directions – everyone else’s directions until one day your tank is way beyond empty.
Is it time for us to narrow our focus a bit and concentrate on a few friends instead of the legion? It’s easy to type but a bit harder to live. Why? Because of the evilness of guilt. How could we possible say no to Judy? To Philip? I have been there for them through menopause and prostrate cancer!
This scenario could of been my friend Gary’s. He woke up one day and said I can’t keep trying to save the whole world – I need to focus my efforts in the lives of six. He called this, conveniently, his Target Six. It is these six close friends that he has committed to staying in close contact with and makes a point to never go three or four days without checking in.
For the others who didn’t make it in, he has allowed himself to feel free to stand back and see them on a more infrequent basis. He will tell you it was hard at first. The folks in his outer circle of six definately felt the difference, but all understood and respected his decision.
The coolest part is the relationships that have developed through the Target Six . It’s funny but now the Target Six stay in touch with each other and know that Gary will be there through cancer, divorce, and raising crazy teenagers. (are there any other kind?)
This year, I am going to take Gary’s advice and focus. I ask for you to consider his story as one you might embrace. Whatever number you decide, those people will feel a stronger bond with you and you will feel that in your target circle, there is more of you to give.
Thanks Gary, from one of your Target Six. I am honored.
Eloise
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Oh What a Night
By Eloise Owens | January 11, 2010
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The Heartbreak Bowl
By Eloise Owens | January 11, 2010
When your heart is set on winning and you lose…what do you do?
As I stood in my bleacher row, shoulder to shoulder with the other lucky UT fans crammed into the Rose Bowl, some thoughts emerged as the afternoon rolled into evening. They include the power of will, close quarters, and getting down on one knee. Let’s jump in.
1. The power of a shared goal turns strangers into fellow warriors.
I had never met the two students to my left. We probably would never run in the same circles outside the stadium but for four hours on a sunny afternoon in Pasadena we were bonded. When the game began, we celebrated the good – an interception, a quarterback sack, and a recovered punt. And… within minutes, our hearts sank while the air left our lungs with a collective gasp as Colt McCoy stumbled to the sidelines holding his arm. The worst possible scenario short of the stadium crumbling in because of another earthquake (there were three that week in CA), had unfolded right before our eyes. Everyone around us (except the few Bama fans down the way) held on in disbelief. Some of the more optimistic fans hoped against hope that it was a stinger. ”He’ll be back!”, they cried. But as Gilbert’s BCS debut began to unravel, we all became “one” in the pain for the warriors on the field. The two guys in front of us grumbled the loudest and tried to place blame quickly. But just like the cranky uncle around the holiday table, we all got over the shock and kept positive, trying to override the cranky guys (every family has them, right?) with hope.
2. The power of the “will to win” unites.
You’re 18 years old and thrown to the lions in a moments notice. He didn’t throw up. (I would have.) He got to work learning about a fast defense hungry to take him out too. Then one woman with an exceptionally “shrill” voice began to chant…”Gilbert, Gilbert, Gilbert!” All the burnt orange fans chimed in as this lonely 18 year old college football baby began to come to life. You could feel the “will” in the air as all of us began to believe in the unthinkable…a true freshman could bring this team back up the hill. By this time there were no strangers around us. We were holding on to each other as each play, each touchdown increased the “will.”
In this moment, “will” was the glue that bonded all of us. Maybe we need more of this stuff in our corporate lives, our family lives. It’s powerful stuff.
3. You can’t climb a mountain on your own.
It’s one thing to ask for heavenly help when you feel overwhelmed. When Gilbert took a knee in the end zone at the beginning of the second half, who could blame him. We wouldn’t of been surprised if while praying on his knee he was looking for the nearest exit. But then another warrior team mate saw him while warming up and ran over to him and knelt over him and laid his hand on him to pray over him. It was for me the highlight of the game. Gilbert was not going to climb alone. His teammates made sure of it.
4. When dreams die, what do you have left?
Colt McCoy is a warrior. He knows from where his strength comes and who ultimately gets the credit when things go right. When his father was with him at half time trying to “will” his shoulder back to normal, he and coach Mack Brown had to prepare Colt for the death of his dream. But “will” is a tough thing. It is hard to kill. He would take on the role of a cheerleader and refuse his street clothes. The football pads would stay on. And from the sidelines he was stationed to cheer while watching the dream fade away. On every change of possession you could see him with Gilbert. In the huddles, Colt was there to make sure the “will” to win was alive.
For some people, when they are knocked out of their dreams, the meaning of life is diminished. The disappointment turns to bitterness and cynicism. Could anyone blame Colt if he displayed either of these unsavory characteristics? The guys only human, right?
But he shows us two things about life – faith matters and friends are worth fighting for. It wasn’t about Colt anymore – it was about others. If there is one thing to get focused on this year, how about this…
Make the time to build your relationships, spiritually and physically. Time with God matters. How you give to others is how your God relationship is manifested. He is in the stands chanting for you…pulling for you…”willing” for you to love others and get into other people’s huddles and cheer for them. Because when you do that for others, you do it for Him.
Next up..reflections from my retreat coming soon…to a blog near you.
What a game – so many blessings in the loss. I wouldn’t trade it for anything..ok..maybe for a healthy Colt. But hey, hat’s off to ‘Bama. Till next time we play, see you in the stands. Colt was the last Longhorn to leave the field. His coaches huddled around his locker to hug him and leave him with these words…”Your best football days are ahead!” Perfect words for a warrior whose “WILL” would not quit.
El
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My Christmas Resolutions
By Eloise Owens | December 14, 2009
The heck with New Year’s…let’s start some new traditions. How about some Christmas Resolutions. For my Jewish friends, sorry but us Christmas people have gotta start doing things differently. Let’s start with the gifts…
1. It’s time to realize that your 16 year old son will not be wowed by most everything you buy that doesn’t involve a remote and shooting things. My resolution – give them underwear! Lots of them. Then just smile when he looks at you like you’re insane. Start the tradition and lower their expectations!
2. Wives, quit trying to prepare the house as if Martha Stewart has you on web cam and is evaluating you! Keep your decorating real. Sure, light it up, make it smell like a pine forest, and be sure that the cat can’t see their reflection in any tree bulbs! (That comes from years of experience with crazy cats that think they see a predator in the reflection and pounce headfirst into the tree. Crash!!!! ) Not good.
3. Husbands, notice that your wife has grown weary of the kitchen – cooking, scrubbing, icing, and cleaning up – again. Give her the gift that keeps on giving – offer to take over the kitchen duties for a day – a whole day. Why not December 25th? Make it an annual tradition – Dad is master of the kitchen all day! I promise your wife will pay you back in wonderful, wonderful ways.
4. Wives, pay your husband back in wonderful, wonderful, ways.
5. This one is a killer but try it and see how much more fun it is opening up your presents. Start from youngest to oldest and open up the presents by age. Little Johnny goes first. Then older sister Sarah goes next. But the trick is that Little Johnny must now put down his gift and pay attention to what his sister Sarah gets. It’s painful but helps develop character – Christmas character.
Here’s my kids years ago developing Christmas character.
6. If you have children under the age of ten, hmmm…ok maybe 20, make sure that all the presents come out even. Because if little Johnny gets an extra one and sister Sarah doesn’t, then sister will have a lowered sense of self esteem and will remind you for the next ten years that she was robbed! Even if you have to put an extra pair of underwear in the present mix to even it out – do it.
7. Don’t let your family come in from out of town and leave them with nothing to do. The family chit chat lasts for about an hour – now what are you going to do? This is how politics come into the conversations and fist fights start – boredom. Keep the family occupied with activities – games like Apples to Apples (take out the political questions), pictionary (take out the Obama’s ears drawings) or maybe a few hours of Crazy 8’s to break up the day. Note: Stay away from games where you have to lie like, “I Doubt It.” You don’t want to resurrect any old family wounds and start WW III.
I can’t wait for the holidays. How about you?
Happy Holiday Survival!
Love,
Elf Eloise
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Even the waves rest, Eloise Owens…
By Eloise Owens | December 13, 2009
For all my sales peeps who have shared time with me in the Decembers of years gone by…You know what’s a comin’…the lecture…the December nudge. For those who I have not had the pleasure yet to meet but are solely connected through these online words…consider this your first time to get “the nudge.” So, here we go.
As professionals we all make the same human mistake of thinking that we must not slow down. We must keep driving…pushing…to make our way up that ladder. After all – our bonuses, our promotions, maybe our very employment rides on my consistent effort.
Some twenty years ago I thought the same thing – as I was lying in an emergency room bed with doctors buzzing around me wondering what could my symptoms mean. They may have been stumped but not me. I knew. My body was done. I had spent four years pushing to get a sales team up and running — to exceed the expectations of my bosses in the big offices. The building of momentum requires large sums of energy. But I loved it. I love to sell. You probably do too.
But your human body is not designed to run full out without some time to recover and renew. Funny thing though, I kept waiting for my manager to call me in and give me some time to renew. Yeah, fat chance that will happen. Hell, all they will do is give you more to do. Right? So, who’s responsibility is it to go underground–rest–and renew? (Hence…the lecture is coming)
There is no one that can mandate your sabbatical. It must come from you. Sometimes the busy weekend is just not enough with all the family adventures that are begging for you. So, if you want to stir a new kind of momentum in 2010, here is what I have been doing for at least the past 10 years and would like to share it with you. Plan your MOMENTUM GETWAY.
1. Invest in rest and get a hotel for a couple of days, maybe in between Christmas and New Years. Search for great deals on Hotwire and see what you can do to not break the bank but spend some of that hard earned money on your rest.
2. Ditch the Blackberry. Tell your family what hotel you are staying at and that the hotel number is only to be used if there is a “dripping blood” emergency. Enjoy the freedom from contact.
3. Sleep in and then eat a good breakfast. I recommend room service.
4. Use your day to reflect on the year. What are you the most proud of? Who on your team at work do you most enjoy working with? Why? What is hard for you at work? How is my relationship with my boss? Could it be better?
5. Now comes the fun part. Start dreaming and planning. Asking yourself questions of what else is possible in 2010? Are there goals in your life that bore you? Can you afford to stay bored? Are you giving your best at work? Does it still stir you to get up every morning and seek out higher results at work? If not, take a new look at what you want this coming year. Is it time to rework your goals?
6. Now comes the hard part. Go walk and listen. Don’t talk to strangers on the walking path or next to you on the treadmill at the hotel. Don’t speak. Let your dreaming and planning simmer a bit in your brain. Take notes of the thoughts you have in your head.
Day 2: Repeat step 3.
7. Day two is designed to start planning and prioritizing your goals and dreams. What ideas can you start working on immediately? What ideas need more time to refine or research? Set up a quarterly schedule to check out your progress on all the goals in your dream planning session.
8. In the afternoon of the second day, I want your focus to shift off of you. Now I want you to start asking yourself another set of questions: ”Others” questions.
At work, who needs me to do my best work? Am I giving them all that they need? (I’ve seen a lot of salespeople treat their dog at home better than they treat a team member.) Do my top ten customers know how much I value them? What can I do quarterly to demonstrate my appreciation? When is the last time I thanked my manager for all that they do and handle for us? (And believe me, they handle an incredible amount.)
At home, who needs me to do my best work? Don’t give your best self at work and leave your family starving for you. The kids, the spouse, the house….all of it. It’s alot. Why not schedule time in your month and surprise your kids with a drive? Or play a card game that you learned? And if you really want to surprise your spouse, send them a card through the mail asking them out on a date with you – and only you. Schedule those appointments now.
Lastly, for those seeking a spiritual walk, ask God to open the floodgates around you in 2010 and see others who need help. Are you the solution that God needs to serve someone crossing your path? Will you be the solution? Get ready. Why not make serving a deliberate part of your 2010? That will truly be your best work.
Your retreat is over for this year. These two days have given you some perspective – some air to breathe again, dream and plan. My retreat is scheduled for Dec 29th.
When is yours?
Blessings my friends,
Eloise
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